Have you ever wondered what to expect when dating a Japanese guy? Well, to start with, I am not Japanese nor grew up in Japan, so I totally had zero idea about their culture, characteristics and traits. However, regardless of that, me and my Japanese boyfriend have been together for a long time now, so, I will share some of the things that I discovered with my personal experience in dating a Japanese. As we all know intercultural relationship can face a lot of challenges and issues.
Showing affection or PDA (Public Display of Affection)- Holding hands, hugging or cuddling is not that allowed in the public eye. I love kisses and hugs, who doesn’t? But unfortunately in Japan if you are in a public place or at least there’s a presence of someone else, flashing your affection is a big no no! Way back when we were still in the Philippines I would usually hold his hand or cling around his arm but one day when we were already in Japan I accidentally reached his hand to hold and all of a sudden he got annoyed and reminded me that it is not nice to do it in public in Japan. I always got reprimanded about this.
There’s nothing wrong about working hard but everything is only good in moderation. My boyfriend works 12 hours a day which is basically half of the whole day, and with only one day off. That only means he loses the chance for leisure or vacation and it’s sad to think that most of the time he misses special family events. There are times that he needs to spend some extra hours if the boss is still around the office, which, according to him, is a part of paying respect to his higher-up.
One thing that challenges my patience the most is the drinking habit. It is part of their routine in the office that after work they go somewhere to drink. This is the place where they usually discuss their problems or some issues that went unresolved inside the office. Refusing drinking invitation from the boss might affect his relationship with him so he can never say no as it may impact his career.
Japanese guys are by nature sweet.. eerr! Unfortunately, they are not! I cannot remember last time my boyfriend gave me flowers or “sweet nothings” , but when it comes to being responsible and generous I couldn’t ask for more. Japanese men are good providers and will shoulder all the expenses in the house but don’t expect them to extend extra effort for sweet gesture.
Every culture deserves equal respect and acceptance even if it’s hard to understand it sometimes. There will always be interesting things when it comes to cultural differences, throughout the course of a relationship, some are challenging, some are exciting, while others can be more difficult to deal with. However, those particular traits and characteristics are part of what my boyfriend is now, so the only choice I have now is to understand and accept it as a part of loving him. Actually, those cultural differences that we have in between are keeping us together and we take it as a challenging adventure along the way, and I honestly think, it’s just the same as with any relationship, regardless of the culture. After all, no relationship is perfect and perfection is boring!