You have it all. Looks, education, passable language skills, the perfect apartment in a big city, the best job: all the conditions are right for love. You are so ready for a boyfriend. You try bars, friends introduce you to their friends, more bars, maybe a group meet up, more bars with no luck. OKCupid? Tinder? Yet another bar?
Ladies, I have it all and I’ve tried it all. Love has just passed me by like the rapid service headed for Tokyo. Like so many Japanese women, many of us foreign women lack chances to meet guys or “deai” (出会い). We also have to overcome language, cultural and racial barriers. Just because you like J-guys, it doesn`t mean they will like you back.
While it is difficult to create chances to meet great guys, it is possible. Here are some tips:
Don`t even think about meeting guys. Start a hobby for you. The idea is two-fold; putting yourself in a room with many people increases the chances of meeting guys or meeting someone who can introduce you to other guys. Also, once you finally meet Mr. Right you will have something interesting to talk about.
Annonymous at least initially. Make your top picture a group shot of you and two or three girlfriends, make it less obvious you’re not Japanese. There are a lot of dating apps that you can download for free on your smartphone. If you are looking for a non-Japanese man, then your choices are more limited, but if you’re confident in your Japanese then give it a shot. I recommend “Omiai” (needs Facebook authentication). Once you are convinced that you have found a guy who isn`t talking to you because he wants to enjoy the novelty of a non-Japanese girl, you can let him know then.
You can go to the “Aiseki” café and the staff will match you with a man and depending on the system, you can get reduced price or free food. Unlike a bar, alcohol is not necessarily involved so people should be speaking and acting with better judgement. Also, people specifically go to these establishments to meet women, not necessarily foreign women which help to avoid the creepers that only want that exotic flair.
Remember ladies, you aren`t some animal to be gawked at. Be confident and proud and most of all, be smart about who you meet and where you meet. Japan has a lot of hot, single guys who would be more than willing to date beautiful you, so give them the chance to meet you!